Episode 4: Learning to Ask for Help and It’s Not a Sign of Weakness

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Episode Summary

Do you ever find yourself saying, “I don’t need help” even when you’re struggling? You know asking for help isn’t a weakness, yet something inside you still resists reaching out. You tell yourself you’re fine, you’ll figure it out, or you don’t want to bother anyone.

I’ve been there, many times and still there.

In this episode 4 of The Novellisteer Podcast, I open up about my own journey of learning to ask for help, how I used to equate self-sufficiency with strength, and how I’ve slowly learned to see vulnerability as a bridge not a burden.

If you’ve ever felt like you must do it all on your own, this episode is for you. It’s an invitation to unlearn that belief and embrace the quiet confidence that comes with asking for help.

Thank you so much for tuning in!

Why Asking for Help Feels So Hard

For many of us, especially first daughters, introverts, or those who grew up being “the responsible one”, asking for help feels uncomfortable. We were taught to figure things out ourselves, to stay strong, and to never show weakness.

But here’s the truth: asking for help is a form of strength. It’s about recognizing your limits, valuing your energy, and allowing others to contribute to your growth.

When you constantly carry everything alone, you’re not just exhausting yourself, you’re also denying others the chance to support you. People want to show up for you, just like you show up for them.

The Mindset Shift

One of the biggest realizations that changed how I view asking for help was this:

“It’s not about needing people because you’re weak, it’s about connecting with people because you’re human.”

We thrive in connection.
We grow through community.
And we heal through shared understanding.

When you start seeing help as collaboration instead of dependency, you remove the shame that comes with it. You begin to ask from a place of confidence, not guilt.

How to Start Asking for Help

If you’re like me, you might need a few gentle reminders to begin opening up. Here are a few steps that helped me and might help you too:

1. Start Small

You don’t have to begin with something big or emotional. Start by asking a friend for advice, feedback, or even a favor. Each time you ask, you practice trust.

2. Reframe Your Thoughts

Instead of thinking “I’m bothering them,” try “I’m giving someone the chance to support me, the same way I’d support them.”

3. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Sometimes, what holds us back isn’t pride, it’s fear of rejection or judgment. Name that fear, and remind yourself that vulnerability isn’t the opposite of strength; it’s the foundation of it.

4. Seek Support Systems

Whether it’s through a friend, mentor, therapist, or online community, find spaces that remind you it’s safe to lean on others.

5. Celebrate When You Do

Every time you ask for help, no matter how small, celebrate it. You’re rewriting an old story, one that says you have to do it all alone.

What Happens When You Do Ask for Help

Once you start asking for help, something beautiful happens:
You stop seeing yourself as someone who has to handle everything. Instead, you become someone who’s open to learning, receiving, and growing.

You also deepen your relationships. When you invite others into your struggles or process, you allow authenticity to flourish. It creates room for empathy, and that’s how real connection begins.

You’ll notice that people often want to help more than you think. Sometimes, they just need to know how.

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