I remember the first time I broke down in tears at work. I was in the middle of answering an email that wasn’t even urgent, but something about the constant pressure of deadlines, expectations, and the endless need to perform tipped me over the edge. The words on my screen blurred as my chest tightened. All I could think was, I can’t do this anymore.
But then came the second thought: What would I do without this job?
It’s a vicious cycle: the job that’s supposed to help you live slowly eats away at your will to do so. But not having a job can feel like falling into a bottomless pit, where your worth, your identity, and even your ability to survive seem to disappear. If this feels all too familiar, you’re not alone.

This post is not about telling you to quit your toxic job or “just push through.” It’s about the reality so many of us face — especially those of us who wear multiple hats, care for others before ourselves, and work twice as hard to prove we belong.
The Job That Costs You Everything
I’ve worked jobs where I dreaded Mondays before the weekend even started. Jobs where the idea of opening my laptop made my stomach churn. Jobs where I went to bed rehearsing the tasks I didn’t finish and woke up to the ping of new demands, my brain never really resting.
But I stayed. I stayed because leaving didn’t feel like an option. Bills don’t stop. Expectations don’t pause. And for someone like me — a multipotentialite, an introvert, and the first daughter — the weight of responsibility is a constant presence. People depend on you. Your success is not just yours; it’s a collective hope for better days, a light in a tunnel for others.
But at what cost? Slowly, the lines blur. You tell yourself, I’m just stressed; it’ll pass. But stress becomes burnout. Burnout becomes resentment. And resentment? It becomes a void where your passion, creativity, and joy once thrived.
No job is worth that.
The Price of Walking Away
The other side of the coin is no less brutal. Walking away isn’t freedom — not at first. It’s a freefall.
When you leave a job, the world doesn’t suddenly become kind. There’s the financial strain, the endless self-questioning, and the deafening silence of a life suddenly stripped of its structure. Being jobless feels like invisibility in a society that ties your value to your productivity.
Your mind spirals:
- What do I even tell people?
- What if I made a mistake?
- How long until I run out of money?
And then there’s the guilt — guilt for prioritizing yourself, not sticking it out, and not being “strong enough.” It’s a suffocating cycle that no amount of platitudes about “mental health first” can erase.
I’ve lived through it. I’ve stared at my empty calendar and felt the crushing weight of the unknown. But I’ve also learned that sometimes, the fall is necessary to remind yourself that you can land.
Breaking the Cycle
The truth is, there’s no easy answer. The cycle is brutal because it’s not designed to be broken. It’s built on systems that demand more from us than they give back. But there are ways to carve out moments of clarity, hope, and strength.
For me, as a multipotentialite who juggles many roles — from building Novellisteer to working a demanding 9-hour daily job while pursuing an interest in cybersecurity — the cycle manifests in constant exhaustion. Every decision feels like a compromise. Do I pour myself into my day job, knowing it drains me, or risk financial instability by focusing on my passion projects?
Even in moments of clarity, where I recognize the need to prioritize my well-being, I often feel trapped by the lack of viable options. It’s a privilege to walk away from a paycheck, a privilege I don’t always have.
So, how i am navigating this brutal cycle? How do you reconcile the need to protect your mental health with the necessity of financial stability?
Here’s what I’ve learned — not from glossy self-help books but from raw, lived experience:
On The Blog: How To Bounce Back From Job Rejection and Build Confidence
1. Redefine What Success Means to You
For so long, I thought success meant holding the “right” title, earning a certain amount, or meeting everyone’s expectations. But success, I’ve realized, is deeply personal. It can mean having the freedom to pursue your passions, the peace of a balanced life, or the courage to say no when something doesn’t align.
Ask yourself: What does success feel like, not just look like?
2. Start Setting Boundaries, Even Small Ones
Boundaries can feel impossible in a world that demands so much from you, but they’re essential. Start small: stop answering work emails after a certain time. Say no to one task that drains you. Take your lunch break away from your desk. These small acts of resistance remind you that your time and energy are valuable.
3. Build Your Safety Nets
Whether it’s saving money, building a side hustle, or leaning on a support system, safety nets are crucial. For me, Novellisteer became a space where I could channel my energy into something meaningful, even when everything else felt uncertain and Damiel Badra is another space where I could earn money while being very specific about the client I am working with and the load of work to take.

4. Give Yourself Grace
The cycle won’t break overnight, and that’s okay. You’re not failing just because you’re struggling. Healing, growth, and change take time. Allow yourself to rest, to pause, and to simply exist without judgment.
You Are More Than Your Job
If you take nothing else from this, hear this: you are not your job. You are not your productivity. Your worth doesn’t diminish because you’re overwhelmed, exhausted, or even unemployed.
I know how hard it is to believe that when everything around you screams otherwise. But I’ve seen the light that comes from choosing yourself, even when it feels impossible. I’ve felt the freedom of creating something meaningful, like Novellisteer, where I can connect with people like you — people who feel trapped in this cycle but refuse to let it define them.
Let’s Survive This Together
You don’t have to do this alone. At Novellisteer, I’ve built a space for stories, resources, and community — a place to remind you that your journey matters. Whether you’re at the breaking point in a toxic job or struggling to find purpose after leaving one, this space is for you.
Share your story. Reach out. Let’s talk about the hard stuff, the real stuff. Because together, we can break the cycle.
Join the conversation. Email me at novellisteer@gmail.com or follow along for more on navigating life as a multipotentialite, introverted first daughter. Let’s make the complicated parts of life a little less lonely — and a lot more hopeful.