The Year To Stop Feeling Guilty Of No New Year New Me

I understand where everyone is coming from with the New Year New Me thing but I believe it is the worst mindset to have cause it is something that is bound to fail maybe it’s cause am a believer in growth rather than makeover


New Year New Me, yup, it’s finally that time when everyone starts talking about their New Year New Me, list or resolution as others would like to call them yet the thing is seeing those post or someone talking about it make me cringe if being polite or gave me a big headache if am not.

Hi Listeer!

I understand where everyone is coming from with the New Year New Me, thing but I believe it is the worst mindset to have cause it is something that is bound to fail maybe it’s cause am a believer in growth rather than makeover as that is what I see New year New Me.

Here is the thing the idea of starting anew, like a fresh blank slate is very appealing as we were taught from a young age that the new year is a fresh start, a chance to leave the past behind, and transform yourself and as someone who has struggled with her mental health, having this mindset is more harmful than helpful.

In 2019

I realized that leaving everything behind locking them away in that pandora box is successful at the beginning yet at the middle and with the way my brain is wired is like a ticking bomb waiting to explode as we all know what happens when the pandora box is finally open.

After my graduating for my first degree, my mental health was in a very bad place, like for real, I was extremely alone even when surrounded by people, I was directionless, I was feeling guilty for not having empathy for humans, I was feeling shapeless and bankrupted of any clarity I had gained while in school.

Previously, every night I lay on the floor after talking myself out of my negative thought, I would stare at the ceiling imagine when. where and how it all went wrong.

Thinking What is wrong with you, what are you so complicated? What is real and what fake? Are you even sincere?

Then I would find myself setting resolutions for the next year to get better, get my life together, stop being a horrible excuse of human being and figure out exactly what I wanted in life.

I want to be someone who didn’t feel like they were about to fall apart all the time, I wanted to be an entirely new person, I wanted to be that person no one would recognise.

Now, after years of struggling to accept me, New Year’s transformations hold no appeal to me.

I don’t want to be that “New” girl, I realized that my desire for “New Year New Me” is when I am at my lowest level and that rather than changing I need to love, explore and accept myself rather than transform.

2 months before any year-end I found myself listing out things I want to explore and setting an intention that works through making sure I have grown to this “girl” not changing to that “girl”.

How do I do that? By making sure my goal is all about working on the previous action that would lead me to grow into my ambition.

I do this cause I have learned that the key to success is in having a small, attainable, realistic goal-setting that would gather into your ambition as those small steps make for having true progress and to start setting an intentional growth year, you can start by doing the following:

Work on the language you use to describe yourself

Over the years, you must have noticed that for every positive thing you said about yourself, there are the negative thing that comes to your mind and that is due to the voice in your head that wants you to keep stuck in that places.

Now, this is when familiarizing yourself with more positive words comes in, before you know your brain would run out of negative things to say. “Trust me, my brain can only remember 5 negative words”

New Year, New Me journal image of women in the cafe drinking coffee

Understand yourself

Do you understand how your mind works? One thing I figure out is that am not visual but more of all types of learning styles, so whenever I am setting an intention I used four kinds of learning styles (I visualize my goal, I write them, I read it out to myself and make sure it something am always in the middle of )

If one of your plans this year is to build a morning routine into your life, read the 3 easy ways to build your morning routine

Create a vision board.

Having a good visual of your goal on a board either digital or physical never hurt anyone, your vision board can be full of words, phrases or pictures and make sure to keep it when you can see it frequently.

For me, I created a digital board that I save as my phone screen lock maybe this year I got to print and enlarge it.

Do not think much about it

Yes, you have the gaol set and visualize yet does that mean you want to be reminded of that goals every second and minute, definitely no, as it is said “For things to manifest, do not hold too tight on to it”

If you are struggling when it comes to this, try meditation or yoga to help ease your mind and put you in a state of greater awareness

Find what brings you joy.

When starting the New Year, focus on things that bring you joy, things that would bring more positive experiences into your life, So get a paper or note app and write down the things that you are passionate about and bring you sunshine

Remember this is all about you and plant you in the middle

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  • Are you a fan of resolution or goal during the New Year?
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